And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Everyone says I win the strip club
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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