Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
