i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
