We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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