you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
