god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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