you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Holy shit dude........stairs
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
