We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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