I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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