my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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