No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
