Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Send help, water and tortillas.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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