so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
