6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize