They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
