I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
