Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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