Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
