I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize