is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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