He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
