Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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