I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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