I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
