Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
