He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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