I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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