It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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