why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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