that's an acceptable place to lick
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
