Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
