Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I can't turn off my feet"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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