barbara walters just said penis...
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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