Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
