I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize