just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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