Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
