Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
