I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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