I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize