They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
