I like my sex mixed with concussions.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
