apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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