i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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