You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
