Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
