Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize