All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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