He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
