why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize