She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
