ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
