Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
