Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
