My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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