We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
