Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
