I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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