You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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