She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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