We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
