I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
