just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize