....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
