I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
