I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
it's like iHOP with fire
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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