So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I still have a little drunk in my system
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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