just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
