he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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