Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
