Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize