carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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