I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
