I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
