is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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