If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
