I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
