my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
