they need to just BURY HIM!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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