Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize